Rethinking my Charismaphobia.

Wheeeeeeeeeew! What a day. Nancy and I decided to take the little ones for a walk around Chapples this morning to get some much needed exercise. At about half way Sammy and Isaac wanted out of their wagons to walk, so while we probably only got half the exercise because their little pit pats set the pace for us, it did take us twice as long to finish and it worked up quite the appetite, so we came back and had grilled cheese sandwiches and soup.

Well at least it wasn't McDonald's. Back when Will worked at A to Z I used to drag all the kids up the college bike path, up to Balmoral, across that dreadful street with no sidewalks with all the trucks turning in to the Husky, and to Will's work to grab money. Everyone he worked with thought we were rather strange. It wasn't bad enough that we had 6 kids like they used to aaaalllllll the way back in prehistoric times, but we were walking it too! Desperate housewife, alright. ...And here comes the Brady Bunch... Hey, but at least I wasn't carrying a camera.

Then, after all that healthy exercise, we'd walk the extra two blocks and go to McDonald's to gain back any calories or fat we may have lost.



Nancy and I were able to have somewhat of an actual conversation over lunch -somewhat because we still had the kids running around-- and I got to hear a little about charismatic churches. My family was once involved with a charismatic church when I was about Rose's age, and ever since then I've been scared off of them, but I learned some things today that make me a little less fearful of (some of) them. The charismatic church my family went to was very legalistic. They came into our home like the Jesus SWAT team and demolished anything that was even remotely "sinful". Good-bye beloved Smurfs and New Kids on the Block cassettes. (I still want to cry when I think of it. Oh, the injustice!) But I never understood why they would do such a thing until today.
They must have been one of the branches that believes you can fall out of the grace of God and so you have to do everything you can to stay in God's favor. What a burden that must be to carry every day, never knowing if you're doing enough. Never knowing if you'll make it to heaven. Always fearing hell. Quite the opposite of the assurance that's alluded to in 1 John 5:13, which says

"I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that
you may know that you have eternal life."

There's been a few times that this kind of thinking has tried to invade my sanctuary in Christ and steal my peace, but by the grace of God I am able to fight these thoughts away with my sword. A little while ago I was listening to a sermon by a well known preacher on Rom. 8:38-39;

"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor
principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor
height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us
from
the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

And he ended it with this comment:

"Notice how it doesn't say that you can't."

Immediately I began to panic.

"But God," I pleaded, "If my salvation rests on me, I'll never make it."

And then I remembered,

"But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works, otherwise grace
is no longer grace. And "I do not nullify the grace of God, for if
righteousness
comes through the Law, then Christ died needlessly." (Ro 11:6;
Gal 2:21)

"He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."
(Phi 1:5-7)

God had chosen me, not the other way around. Jesus said we must be "born again." Who could birth himself? It has to be the work of God alone.

"But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of
God, even to those who believe in His name, who were born, not of blood nor
of
the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. " John 1:12-13

...And God doesn't change His mind.

Unfortunately, there's been several times that I've bashed my charismatic brothers and sisters from that church, but there is one thing they did do for me, if nothing else. They put the fear of the Lord in me. Up until the day I got saved I had nightmares because of them. Nightmares of a fiery red blazing inferno that was sky, ushering in the return of this Jesus Who would judge me.

"I'm sorry, Jesus"

I would cry, but I knew it was too late. I always woke up at that point in a sweaty fearful panic, under a tremendous weight of regret, hopelessness, and crippling fear.

The Bible says,

"the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."(Pro 1:7)

This fear of the Lord never caused me to repent (have a change of attitude and
mourn over my sins), but when I was finally faced with my own spiritual poverty
and depravity, it was that fear of the Lord that brought me to my knees asking
for mercy.
I may disagree with much of their theology, and I certainly
disagree with much of what these particular church members were doing, but God
used them to bring me to the cross.

Thank you, Nancy, for opening my eyes to this. I should know better than to judge or think I know anything.