Crawling Ahead

You would never guess what I did this week. I actually spoke in front of Maureen's girl's group (which was on that day made up of an entire 4 girls. Gasp! lol,) and shared my testimony....and I didn't even cry or shake, to boot! But before you go on and pat me on the back, I must stress that I owe my victory to God alone. I started to panic the day before and so Will called people and asked for prayer. So even though I botched it up big time while I was speaking (cause I'm just NOT good at speaking,) I still did a lousy job minus the paralyzing fear ruling me, and that, my friends, is a victory indeed! (And I just try to keep in mind that it's not about me anyway. Seriously...I have those words written down to remind me of just that for a very good reason [which I'll blog more about later when I have the time.])
So it would seem that I'm moving ahead. No. I'm crawling ahead, O me of little faith.

I don't know how the Good Friday service was yesterday, but I had an absolute ball in the nursery. I was met by a beautiful woman who looked strangely familiar. It turns out she was Sandy's sister. I guess initially she thought I was one of the teen helpers (I'm hoping to get that in another ten years,) so she must have been a little like "Oh the nerve!" when I kept so rudely grabbing Leila from her every time she fussed. I can only imagine what was going through her head (and I would have loved to see the look on her face) when Sammy started fighting and I practically dragged him by the arm over to the corner.
Where's the candid camera when you need one?

Anyway, it was a LOOOONG morning for those poor little children. If ever you question the natural-born depravity of man, spend some time in the nursery and that'll soon change your mind. It was almost traumatizing for them to be all thrown together, all 12 of them, in one room and have to--are you ready for this?--share the toys. But little Isaac gave me a good laugh. 
I'm "his girl", don't you know. So when he walked away from me only to turn around and find me playing with another child (infidel!), he got angry. No--he got furious! His cute little nose scrunched up, his bottom lip came out exposing his lower teeth, his voice instantly turned hoarse, his breathing forceful, his eyes glaring from underneath his angry eyebrows. Kinda like this little one...

...and he took hold of his snow plow (aka toy lawn mower pusher thingy,) and suddenly became very resolved to "get that bad guy!", who, incidentally, was the shy little boy playing quietly beside me.

I have never seen a child with so much passion. God willing, that will be put to good use one day.

Oh! And yesterday was also the very first time Nancy's Samuel didn't turn and head for the hills as soon as I looked at him. (sniffs) I feel loved.